THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS

 

THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS

Dear readers,

Based on my own observations, learning from life experiences  as well as our ancient wisdom, and application thereof in real life, I came to know the secret of happiness.

In this article, I am happy to share the secret of happiness with my ardent readers. 

The main source of learning ancient wisdom is Upanishada.

The very mention of secret of happiness brings up in mind the  most  likely  curious  questions regarding happiness like -

What are the 7 keys to happiness?

What is the secret to true or real happiness?

What are the 5 rules of happiness?

What are the 3 keys to happiness?

What is true happiness?

How do I get happiness?

Is money the key to happiness?

How can I be happy everyday?

And so on and on.

The very mention of happiness brings up  many curious questions in our mind. And for that there are authentic sources on the internet to get the answers.

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF HAPPINESS

The meaning of happiness is - Happiness is a feeling of pleasure and positivity. When someone feels good, proud, excited, relieved or satisfied about something, that person is said to be "happy". Feeling happy may help people to relax and to smile. (Source wikipedia)

THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS

Happiness!

image source: pixabay.com

It is human nature to seek happiness, achieve happiness, express happiness and share happiness with others. 

In seeking happiness, one has to find the source of happiness, overcome the hurdles in the way and attain and achieve happiness.  

In this entire process, we fail to discover happiness in small things. (Read my article - Seeking Happiness).

You must have read my earlier post The Secret of My Happiness in which I had revealed my own secrets of happiness in life.

But the content and intent of this article is not restricted to me individually. It is generalized. 

I have also to bring to the kind notice of the readers that I am not a qualified psychologist. And in that sense I am not an authority.  

But you know, as they say, experience counts because it proves wiser in practical life. 

ON WHAT DOES OUR HAPPINESS DEPEND ?

Let us see.

You enjoy tea in the morning. Even in the afternoon and if possible in the late evening also. But you will remember the occasions when you simply avoided having tea,  putting it aside because you had to reach the office in time. 

Why?

This is so because your mind was already engaged with the next important task in hand.

Therefore, if our mind is some where else, we cannot feel happiness.

THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS

You like filmy songs.  And one morning, after awakening, your spouse tells that she has just downloaded your favorite song and puts the mobile player on.  But your immediate reaction is OH, NOT NOW ! 

Why? 

Because in the sleep, the mind is peaceful and on getting up it wants this peace should continue. 

And  rejection of any disturbance is an act of  compliance of what the mind states.

We like to watch our favorite tv serial. But on a particular day we do not want to do so. 

Why we do not get happiness indulging in our favorite act?

The reason is NOT IN MOOD. 

It is because the state of our mind is not conducive to do so. 

If we try to do any thing against our mind, the mind gets disturbed.

One of my colleague who also retired along with me, decided to engage his retired life in improving others.  After two three years when we met, I found him very much disappointed, agitated, frustrated, disturbed and depressed.  When I asked him sympathetically he said that see, I do so many things, spend so much time, do so much work to improve the people, they are not improving at all. On the contrary, they go on arguing or blaming  me only.  I cannot simply tolerate this.

Why my colleague has reached this stage?

If we refer to history or our religious books, the world has been the same. Even so much powerful entities could not help to improve the world.

So there is no point in trying to improve others. 

Yes, one can help others only when requested to do so.

This ensures our own peace of mind.

Another colleague,with whom I had brief chat last month, on being asked how he was, he said - I do not know where this society is headed for?  So much crime, insecurity, increasing inflation, careless and selfish leaders and all ....  

He appeared so much disappointed, disturbed and helpless.

Why?

The world is like this only and an individual is not capable to control it. 

If we ignore this fact, we are bound to disturb our peace of mind.

In my working years, when I was transferred to a notorious section, notorious for indiscipline, strong union activities, group rivalries, aggressive staff and other such challenging factors,  my immediate superior officer cautioned me to be careful.  I replied him that since I was on periodical transfer and likely to get transferred on completing my tenure, I will be careful not to get damaged and damage others. 

After a while, while being alone, I thought what I said applies to our life also.  

In this life we must not get disturbed by the world around us.

Nor should we disturb the world around.  

This ensures the peace of mind.

THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS

I remember one of my coworker once shared her experience with her father-in-law. Even after retirement he used to create a lot of nuisance demanding attention to him and insisted that every one at home should listen to him. Because he had worked as a director in the company and had a lot of experience etc. But now no one is willing to listen to him, she confided. 

She further said that his behavior makes the whole family disturbed. Moreover, in the society also no body bothers about him. And why should they? 

This is what is called ego (Ahamkara). Due to ego, he expected respect forgetting that respect is some thing one should deserve. And that one should not demand respect.

Another example is one of my close friends.  He used to bother about everything in the family. Banking, payment of electricity bills, gas bills, telephone bills, laundry, grocery and what not.  He used to query in detail about the office working of his son and daughter-in-law. 

As a result, he was always complaining about his restless mind.

Now, with so many botheration how  can he  expect peace of mind?

Therefore, one should not bother about unnecessary things. This will ensure peace of mind.

In life, we depend on so many things, mobile, newspapers, particular kind of dressing, pen, wrist watch, type of food, and so on.  And if we do not get them, we are disturbed.

Therefore, if we have minimum dependence on external factors, our mind is peaceful.

We human have endless desires to fulfill one after another. For example, we first have ordinary mobile phone, then smart phone, then the latest model etc. Without the latest model, we still are unhappy.  We think that without the desired objects life has no meaning. 

Firstly, efforts for accomplishing desires makes mind restless. If one desire is fulfilled, mind becomes greedy and restless again.  If any desire is not fulfilled, anger dominates mind making it restless. 

This explains the potentials of desires to make the mind restless, agitated destroying the peace.

To have control over our desires and have only reasonable desires is most important to have peace of mind.

If we learn from the ancient wisdom, the first thing required is peace of mind.

And only while having peace of mind, we can feel happiness. 

Second   thing is  that  one  has  to  be  at  the present   moment.   We cannot have tea now and feel happiness later. 

Thirdly, we must understand the importance of happiness.  Without happiness, life is miserable. 

This realization only enables us to look at happiness seriously and make effective efforts for achieving the same.

Having understood that peace of mind is basis for feeling happiness, we understood the things we should not do.

THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS

Now, about the things we should do.

• Accept reality

• No comparison with others.

• No interference in others' affairs.

• No expectation from others.  

• Be grateful for what we are and what we have.

• No criticism of others.

• Advise others only when requested.

• Avoid trying to improve others.

• Learning new things.  Life is process of continuous learning.

• Enjoy natural beauty, sunrise, sunset, birds chirping, pet animals, the communication among them and so on.

• Love kids. We can learn so many things from them.

• Never think of the past.

• Never worry about the future.

• Respect others.

• Stop complaining about any thing, even about the climate.

• Friendly interaction with lower strata of the society also.

• Keep in the company of wisdom regularly.

• Embrace the good values in life.

• Have at least one creative hobby. 

In addition to the above, one can find in daily life the things/activities NOT to do which may disturb the peace of mind. 

At the same time, one can identify the things/activities MUST DO that can give peace of mind.

So, the secret of happiness is peaceful mind. 

With peaceful mind, we can enjoy happiness which we share with others.  This further leads to satisfaction and ultimately fulfillment in life.

And of course, peace, satisfaction and fulfillment in life - is the goal of human life.

Please read and comment your views.

Thanks !

Next time........